Why Wait for Sex?

If we are to believe what we read in the magazines, see on TV, or hear on the radio, there is NO reason to wait for sex. Sex, as portrayed by the media, is as essential for life as eating and breathing. Go without sex? Why? How? Is it even possible? No way! The TRUTH is, sex is NOT essential for life, and there are some very good reasons to wait! STDs, HIV/AIDS, unplanned pregnancies - all of these would not be the problems they are today had it not been for the "sexual revolution" of the 60's.

Before the 1960's, saving sex for marriage was "the norm" - it's what was expected - and virginity was valued. Even today, in almost every culture around the world, remaining a virgin until marriage is expected. Sadly, in our culture, "virginity" is considered archaic, and while unplanned pregnancies are not encouraged, neither is abstinence. And that's really too bad, because there are many benefits to abstinence, including:

It's risk free
It's responsible
It's honest
It's effective
It's bold
It's worry free
It doesn't cost anything
It builds trust
It creates respect
There's no fear of getting caught
It won't betray you
It doesn't play games
There's no manipulation
It won't break your heart
You won't feel used
Virginity is given - not lost
STDs can kill
Some STDs are forever
Life is valuable
You are valuable!

So - how do you abstain when "everyone else is doing it?"

The first thing you must do is purpose in your heart that you won't have sex outside of marriage. This means that you promise yourself that you will not have sex until - or unless - you're married. Then you need to set boundaries for yourself and your relationships. Sex doesn't "just happen." There are things that lead up to having sex - identify those things, and know your limits. Can you hold hands without becoming sexually aroused? Then hold hands! Can you kiss and not be aroused? Then kiss! Can you touch and fondle your partner? Unlikely! If you're in a private place - and you're alone - "making out" will most likely lead to sex, especially if you've already been sexually active. If you've already been sexually active, or have come very close to having intercourse, you may need to limit your dating to public places or group activities. It's a lot harder to have sex when you're in a group of people at the mall than when you're in the backseat of your car on "lover's lane!"

You also need to think about your partner - what are his/her limits? It's a fact that men are sexually aroused much more quickly than women. What a woman can do without "crossing the line" is likely to be much more than what a man can do. If you are the woman in the relationship, be aware that while you can "kiss and touch" and not want any more, he will probably have stronger urges and desires, and it's risky to push him beyond his limits and then expect him to stop.

It's not too late!

For those of you who have already had sex - and who think it's "too late" - think again! You can choose - now - to wait. You can commit yourself - now - to abstinence. You can develop a new sense of self-respect. You can give your heart time to heal from sexual relationships that may have left you feeling used, rejected and betrayed. You can begin preparing yourself for that one person who will want to spend the rest of his/her life with you.

Abstinence - saving sex for marriage - is a difficult choice. It is a battle against sexual temptation, and is a character building struggle. It requires courage, strength and self control. Will you dare to be different? Will you dare to stand up for yourself? You ARE worth waiting for!


Home Support Group Ectopic Fetal Development Post Abortion Syndrome Pregnancy STD's Why Wait? Un-Choice	Why Wait for Sex? If we are to believe what we read in the magazines, see on TV, or hear on the radio, there is NO reason to wait for sex. Sex, as portrayed by the media, is as essential for life as eating and breathing. Go without sex? Why? How? Is it even possible? No way! The TRUTH is, sex is NOT essential for life, and there are some very good reasons to wait! STDs, HIV/AIDS, unplanned pregnancies - all of these would not be the problems they are today had it not been for the "sexual revolution" of the 60's. Before the 1960's, saving sex for marriage was "the norm" - it's what was expected - and virginity was valued. Even today, in almost every culture around the world, remaining a virgin until marriage is expected. Sadly, in our culture, "virginity" is considered archaic, and while unplanned pregnancies are not encouraged, neither is abstinence. And that's really too bad, because there are many benefits to abstinence, including: It's risk free It's responsible It's honest It's effective It's bold It's worry free It doesn't cost anything It builds trust It creates respect There's no fear of getting caught It won't betray you It doesn't play games There's no manipulation It won't break your heart You won't feel used Virginity is given - not lost STDs can kill Some STDs are forever Life is valuable *You* are valuable! So - how do you abstain when "everyone else is doing it?" The first thing you must do is purpose in your heart that you won't have sex outside of marriage. This means that you promise yourself that you will not have sex until - or unless - you're married. Then you need to set boundaries for yourself and your relationships. Sex doesn't "just happen." There are things that lead up to having sex - identify those things, and know your limits. Can you hold hands without becoming sexually aroused? Then hold hands! Can you kiss and not be aroused? Then kiss! Can you touch and fondle your partner? Unlikely! If you're in a private place - and you're alone - "making out" will most likely lead to sex, especially if you've already been sexually active. If you've already been sexually active, or have come very close to having intercourse, you may need to limit your dating to public places or group activities. It's a lot harder to have sex when you're in a group of people at the mall than when you're in the backseat of your car on "lover's lane!" You also need to think about your partner - what are his/her limits? It's a fact that men are sexually aroused much more quickly than women. What a woman can do without "crossing the line" is likely to be much more than what a man can do. If you are the woman in the relationship, be aware that while you can "kiss and touch" and not want any more, he will probably have stronger urges and desires, and it's risky to push him beyond his limits and then expect him to stop. It's not too late! For those of you who have already had sex - and who think it's "too late" - think again! You can choose - now - to wait. You can commit yourself - now - to abstinence. You can develop a new sense of self-respect. You can give your heart time to heal from sexual relationships that may have left you feeling used, rejected and betrayed. You can begin preparing yourself for that one person who will want to spend the rest of his/her life with you. Abstinence - saving sex for marriage - is a difficult choice. It is a battle against sexual temptation, and is a character building struggle. It requires courage, strength and self control. Will you dare to be different? Will you dare to stand up for yourself? You ARE worth waiting for!
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